I would always state that for most of my life that I have been able to state that I have not been the victim of overt acts of discriminations. I would say this is due to the fact that I find myself apart of many major groups within our culture. However the subtle acts of discriminations that may have been hard to detect in the past yet have come to the forefront of my thoughts through my studies this week.
One such moment of micro aggression that I have experienced happened to me in the past, as the wife of a soldier I am often left to handle many of my families day -to -day needs in the absence of my husband. Decisions can not be left until he can be consulted or has the time in order to handle things. I say this because I have found myself learning new skills and researching on concepts that I would have found boring in the past in an effort to keep our family life moving along on a more or less smooth pace.
It was during one of my husbands deployments that I found myself faced with the attitudes that some may feel that I am in capable of making decisions or having knowledge in areas most people would assume have been handled in the past by husband. It was during this time that I realized the surprise some people expressed to me that during each of my husband's deployments I have made a conscious decision as so many military wives make to stay near the military base instead of relocating to be closer to my family. Its odd to think of this now because at the time I simply shrugged the comments off and paid no attention to them at all, however now in light of my studies on microagressions these comments were made in the opinion that I was less capable of leading my life without my husband being there and that I would automatically revert to going home in order to find support for myself and my children. This is not to say that the decisions that I made were easy , they just were the best decisions to make under the circumstances that I found myself, in which I always placed the need for my children to have stability in their lives above my own discomfort.
In thinking of the subtle ways that we can affect how others view us and themselves. It is important to have an awareness of the subtle ways in which we can impose our beliefs and biases on those around us. In my case I know that I was faced with moments of doubt as if I was less capable of carrying on in my husband's absence. These were hard feelings in which to put behind me and in the end I chose to focus on the day to day happenings in my life and not on my ability or inability to handle my current situation. For other people the solution may not be so simple.
One such moment of micro aggression that I have experienced happened to me in the past, as the wife of a soldier I am often left to handle many of my families day -to -day needs in the absence of my husband. Decisions can not be left until he can be consulted or has the time in order to handle things. I say this because I have found myself learning new skills and researching on concepts that I would have found boring in the past in an effort to keep our family life moving along on a more or less smooth pace.
It was during one of my husbands deployments that I found myself faced with the attitudes that some may feel that I am in capable of making decisions or having knowledge in areas most people would assume have been handled in the past by husband. It was during this time that I realized the surprise some people expressed to me that during each of my husband's deployments I have made a conscious decision as so many military wives make to stay near the military base instead of relocating to be closer to my family. Its odd to think of this now because at the time I simply shrugged the comments off and paid no attention to them at all, however now in light of my studies on microagressions these comments were made in the opinion that I was less capable of leading my life without my husband being there and that I would automatically revert to going home in order to find support for myself and my children. This is not to say that the decisions that I made were easy , they just were the best decisions to make under the circumstances that I found myself, in which I always placed the need for my children to have stability in their lives above my own discomfort.
In thinking of the subtle ways that we can affect how others view us and themselves. It is important to have an awareness of the subtle ways in which we can impose our beliefs and biases on those around us. In my case I know that I was faced with moments of doubt as if I was less capable of carrying on in my husband's absence. These were hard feelings in which to put behind me and in the end I chose to focus on the day to day happenings in my life and not on my ability or inability to handle my current situation. For other people the solution may not be so simple.